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A Sail of Two Titties III: The Brassiere Strikes Back

from A Sail of Two Titties by Captains of the Head

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lyrics

We all stood around a’patting our backs for a job done well
We’d pumped up those titties with jellyfish, then the tits began to swell
Now things took a turn for the worst from a problem unforeseen
Those fish we put inside’a her juggs, they all began to sting

As the mermaid flopped around in pain
Our lifted spirits could not be maintained
We’d failed in our quest to repay our debt
For the jellyfish tentacles poisoned her breasts

There seemed but one answer for what to do to stop the painful throb
But it seemed such a shame to remove the implants and ruin her boob job
We plied her with booze, nearly drowned ‘er with wine, fed her drugs right up to ‘er gills
But nothing could combat the terrible sting that came from those tendrils

The Captain cried at the break of daylight
For he lost all hope for her pitiful plight
Is there no one aboard who can offer her help?
Fuck, We’ve should have just filled her tits up with kelp


Three men then came forward with little delay to take her pain and wash it away
Three well-hung heroes, from the restroom they came, Captains of the Head was their name
They said “we know how to remove the sting, for we’ve been drinking all night and we got just the thing
We’ll unzip our pants to save her fake tits, pull out our 3 cocks and cover ‘em with piss”

The Captain’s then answered to nature's call
Golden rain soaked her bra from 3 dicks & 6 balls
They shower’d her boobs & extinguished her pain
All it took was a leak from their lengthy main veins

The mermaid was then returned to the sea
For the Captains of the head had saved her with pee

Fare thee well Victoria with bosoms so grand
Now the sail of two titties has come to an end.

credits

from A Sail of Two Titties, released November 6, 2020

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Captains Of The Head Detroit, Michigan

Captains of the Head hail from Detroit. They sing rough songs about rough men, rough seas, and loose women. In the maritime folk tradition, they pay tribute to other x-rated singers such as Salty Dick, Oscar Brand, and John Valby. They are on a voyage to keep the sea shanty tradition alive, leaving no cunt unturned. ... more

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