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The Handkerchief Code

from New Directions by Captains of the Head

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Written by Mark Paul

lyrics

Whoaoooo, WhoaWhoaWhoaoooo, Whoaoooo, WhoaWhoaWhoaoooo
If ya see a blue flag hangin’ from my left pocket
it means I’ll fuck all your holes
If an orange flag hangs down from my right pocket
it means that anything goes
And that’s called the handkerchief code

The boys out in Frisco town
had a problem back in the day
There was no way to identify
who was straight and who was a gay
It was hard to find an acceptable mate
and to find out what they liked
It was hard to differentiate
between a queen and a spiky haired *&@$

Then one day an idea came
that quickly changed the game
A nautical %!@ saw a nautical flag
and gay sex was never the same
Yeah the boys out in Frisco town
took a tip from the sailors at sea
They’d hang a flag down from their ass
to communicate secretively

If ya see a black flag hanging from my left pocket
it means that I’ll beat you up
If a red flag hangs down from my right pocket
you can shove your fist up my butt
And that’s called the handkerchief code

Now instead of shapes and instead of bars,
colored hankies would duly report
If you liked to be ridden dry
or if you like water sports
The pocket you chose would indicate
if you bottom or you top
And the pocket you chose would indicate
If you’re allowed to say stop

Oh the boys out in Frisco town
were surely now in luck
The hanky code had made it clear
just who was ready to fuck
And if a blue flag hangs down from the left,
your asshole was probably tight
But if that same flag hangs down from the right,
your asshole won’t put up a fight
No your asshole won’t put up a fight

If ya see a gray flag hangin’ from my left pocket,
it means that I’ll tie you up
If green flag hangs down from my right pocket,
you can gladly pay me to fuck
And that’s called the handkerchief code.

If ya see a brown flag hangin’ from my left pocket,
it means you’ll eat all my shit
If a yellow flag hangs from my right pocket,
then I’ll drink all of your piss
And that’s called the handkerchief code

Whoaoooo, WhoaWhoaWhoaoooo, Whoaoooo, WhoaWhoaWhoaoooo

credits

from New Directions, released December 26, 2020
Capt. Don River - Banjo, Lead Vocals
Capt. Gar Density - Accordion, Backing Vocals
Capt. Rod Chesterhills - Guitar, Backing Vocals

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all rights reserved

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Captains Of The Head Detroit, Michigan

Captains of the Head hail from Detroit. They sing rough songs about rough men, rough seas, and loose women. In the maritime folk tradition, they pay tribute to other x-rated singers such as Salty Dick, Oscar Brand, and John Valby. They are on a voyage to keep the sea shanty tradition alive, leaving no cunt unturned. ... more

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